Today is one of those dark days where all I feel like doing is sitting and cry so that whatever is pent up inside just ebbs away with flowing tears. Of course, they say stuff like every cloud has a silver lining but what if the silver is tarnishing fast and furiously? It's often easy to say that failure is the stepping sense of success but it's so hard to be at the receiving end of it and so hard to be alright. Deviating from that, I absolutely hate going to college. The moment I enter the building, a feeling of impending doom sets in. Apart from everything else that can go wrong, I'm tired of getting on the wrong side of the people. I just wish I would be left on my own sans any conditions. When you need a shoulder, you never have one, other than that you've all unnecessary nonsensical interruptions from every third person you get. Well! if they can't make things better, atleast don't make it worse for someone.

It's hard to lose a friend's hope and dreams to something that you cannot help and watch their lives crumbling around it. It's even harder to talk to them... I mean like, what do you say really "Failure is the stepping stone to success! Don't worry" OR "It's ok, I can understand your state of mind"??? Well!No! It's not ok and you really can't understand what its like to fail miserably. But then again, it's a matter or perspective about what is really "success" and "failure". 1000 ways to make an experiment work out might not be failure but successfully coming to the right thing after 999 different approaches. The strength of character needed to deal with failure should be very great. So it is when you want to stand up for something or assert something which the rest of them would never do even if they want to and them condemn you for it. And the way our society is, the 'failure' is even harder to manage!

This is just a random string of thoughts and rather a consternation of feelings when you feel like you're lost and you don't know where to go anymore or what to do really? When everything seems fuzzy...career...future...friends...life actually! and this the best outlet, writing it down this way. Like I said, one never has a shoulder when one needs and I hate to be dependent on one. When you give someone the power of understanding you and consoling you effectively, the same thing turns into a weapon to hurt you...and I'd resolved long back that I would never ever give anyone the power to hurt me but you can't live life like that....isolated and aloof..because it's not happy..Lastly whoever said life was fair....it never is! If everyone truly got what they deserved, the world would've been a nicer place to live in..

Au revoir...